Lord of the Dance: The Fela'ship of Dancers
by faeirex
Summary: Lord of the Rings- The Musical (part 1) It's all in the least possible taste, but quite amusing all the same (I think, anyway). Mild, but continuous, character and story bashing.
1. Be Our Guest

Disclaimer: It's mine! My own! My preciousssssssssssssss… [Phil hits me round the back of the head]

OUCH!

Ok, so I don't actually own any of this. None. Lord of the Dance is in fact my friend Phil's brainchild, and I am simply posting it here for him. All congratulations, flowers, book contracts, and, for that matter, death threats should go to him. I promise to pass them on. Lord of the Rings, on the other hand, is the property of Tolkein. Except he's going kinda mouldy right now, and probably won't care. It's now the property of whoever happens to own it. Safe to say, this is not me. And the various songs- well, they have been stolen from various sources, then butchered. [embarassed face] sorry about that…

Ah well. Phil has written huge amounts already, but I've decided the best thing to do is split it up into small chapters, each one ending with a song. I've found the best way to read this is to download the original versions of the songs so you can sing tunelessly along, but hey, that's just me. First up for the chop is:

Be Our Guest

Written by: The Disney Dudes.

****

Lord of the Dance : The Fela'ship of Dancers
    
    Chapter 1:

The shire was alive with excitement; at noon the next day the birthday party of Bilbo and Frodo Baggins would begin. They were about 100 and 50 years old and by some amazing coincidence their birthdays were on the same day. And for hobbits that meant presents. And being the selfish little creatures that Hobbits are this didn't mean they bought presents for the birthday boys. No, no, this meant they took presents from Bilbo and ate all his food. However, this was a perfect arrangement because Bilbo was the sort of Hobbit who had loads of money and liked to show it off at every occasion. How Bilbo got the money was a mystery and was the biggest scandal in the shire since Lobelia Bracegirdle wore a mini skirt at a fancy dress party. 

And so began Bilbos party. Every one was invited because Bilbo wanted to show off his absolute wealth to absolutely everyone. At the gates stood Bilbo and one of his mistreated (and underfed) servants, Hamfast Gamgee along with him stood his skinny little son named Sam. Despite his malnourished and at the doors of death aura, Sam had enough spirit in him to sing along to any of the hobbitses favourite songs. And so all were greeted by a roar of singing. 

(Bilbo spoken_) Ma hole mademoiselle _

It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that I welcome you tonight. 

And now, I give you my present 

Let you sit down and eat as the dinning room proudly presents my disappearance! 

(sung_) Be our guest! Be our guest! _

Put my servants to the test 

Tie your napkin round your feet, cherie

And we provide the rest 

Wild boar 

On the floor 

Why we only live to serve 

Try the grey stuff, it delicious

Don't believe me? Ask the wizards! 

They can sing! They can dance! 

After all, miss, this is Bagend 

And a dinner here is never second best

Go on, put up your feet 

You're gonna have a feast. 

You'll be our guest, 

Oui, our guest. Be our guest 

Beef ragout! Cheese soufflé 

Pie and Pudding 'en flambe' 

We'll prepare and serve with flair 

A culinary cabaret 

You're alone and you're scared 

But my banquet's all prepared 

No ones gloomy or complaining 

While the Hobbit's entertaining 

__

We sing songs 

I do trick with my fellow ageing chicks 

(Sam) _And it's all in perfect taste that you can bet_

(All) _Come on and lift your glass _

You've won your own free pass 

To be our guest! 

(Bilbo) _If you ain't dressed, _

It's fine dining we suggest

(Sam) _Be our guest. Be our guest. Be our guest. _

(Bilbo sombre) _Life is so unnerving for a rich guy who's not boasting _

He's not whole without a soul to flaunt upon 

Ah, those good days when I was youthful 

Suddenly those good old day are gone 

Ten years, I've been rusting needing so much more than dusting 

Needing exercise, a chance to show my gold 

Most days, we just lay around the garden. Flabby, fat and lazy 

You walked in and oops-a-daisy 

(Hamfast) _It's a guest! It's a guest! _

Sakes alive, Well, I am blessed! 

Wines been poured and thank the lord 

I've had the napkins firmly brushed 

With dessert they want smokes 

And my dears, that's fine with me.

While my kid does his good cooking 

I'll be gardening! I'll be brewing! 

They'll be warm, piping hot 

For god sakes if there's a clot 

Flush it out 

We want our company impressed 

We've got a lot to do. Is it one plant or two? 

For them, our guests 

(Sam) _They're our guests! _

(Hamfast_) They're our guests!_

(Sam) _They're our guests!_

Be our guest! Be our guest! 

Our command is your request. 

It's ten years since we've had anybody here 

And I'm obsessed 

(Bilbo) _With your meal with your ease, _

Yes, Indeed, We aim to please. 

While the candlelight's still glowing

Let us help you. We'll keep going 

Course by course, one by one 

'Til you shout, "Enough I'm done" 

Then we'll throw you out the door as you digest 

Tonight you'll prop your feet up! But for now, let's eat up! 

Be our guest! Be our guest! 

Be our guest! 

Please, be our guest! 


	2. Bilbo The Fool

Disclaimer : Not mine.

Song of the day : Winnie the Pooh

Written by : The Disney guys again

Chapter 2 :

After all the singing and dancing and once Sam had finished cartwheeling around the garden the on looking (and somewhat disturbed guests) quickly snatched their gifts from the table by the door and then they ran to the food, Hobbits like eating. Once they had finished eating Bilbo stood on a barrel to make a speech. Naming all the 144 hobbits at the party took more than an hour and then Bilbo slipped on a small plastic ring and disappeared. It took 5 minutes for the hobbits to even notice he had vanished and then all attention turned to the old man with the smoking walking stick. All blame turned on him and he was forced to run from Bagend shortly followed by Frodo. Once Frodo and Gandalf had reached a safe distance. Gandalf started to explain about the ring. 

"You see there was this person called gollu.." 

"I've actually heard this story" 

"Never mind I have a new song that fits the story perfectly" shouted Gandalf

"But…"

And then Gandalf seemed to rise as he started to sing in cheer (badly I may add as he hadn't had choir practice since he was a young wizard). 

(Gandalf) _Bilbo the fool, Bilbo the fool _

Tubby, little hobbit all stuffed and gruff. 

He's Bilbo the fool, Bilbo the fool, wily, nilly silly ole dear 

Deep in the town of Hobbiton where Frodo the hobbit plays, 

You will find the enchanted neighbourhood of Bagends'old friendly ways. 

A cousin named Pippin lives nearby, and Hamfast and little Sam 

There's Merry and all the Brandybucks but most of all, Bilbo the fool. 

Bilbo the fool, Bilbo the fool 

Tubby, little hobbit all stuffed and gruff. 

He's Bilbo the fool, Bilbo the fool wily, nilly silly ole dear 

Deep in the misty mountains, yonder, where wanderers often stray 

You'll find the treacherous caves of Gollum, where he had spent most of his days 

He had no friends except his precious and poor little sméagol too. 

He hated the sun and all the light but most of all Bilbo the foo… 


	3. Go To Mordor

Disclaimer: If I tried to say I actually _did _own this stuff, would anybody actually believe me? No? Well then.

Apologies go out to: Go The Distance

By: Disney again (Eric Clapton version

Chapter 3:

"Oh my god, enough, I've heard enough," cried Frodo. 

"Really, how rude. But anyway Bilbo has left, blah blah blah, the ring must be destroyed yada yada yada end of the world yak yak yak." 

"You mean that Bilbo has left and gone to Rivendell where he will live with the elves for the rest of his days and live longer then the old took and that I have to carry on what he has started and I have to leave, head into mordor alone, fight orcs, avoid perilous nazgul, leave all my friend risk my neck and make sure that I don't put the ring on so that sauron cannot corrupt my mind" 

"Isn't that what I said" enquired Gandalf. 

Frodo then picked up the ring, which Bilbo had forgot to take with him. 

"Cast it into the fire Frito" 

"That's Frodo, Gandalf" 

"Yes Frilo, into the fire it must go" 

"But it'll melt" said Frodo 

"Just do it" 

Frodo then threw the ring into the fire and just as he predicted it melted and disappeared. Gandalf then prodded the melted remnants with a stick. 

"Ah, I wasn't expecting that to happen" 

"I guess it's over then" 

"Not at all Friko, that would prevent an adventure. 

"But why…" 

"BECAUSE I WANT AN OSCAR AND YOU DON'T GET OSCARS FOR MELTED RINGS" 

"So what will I do" 

"Here just take this one" Gandalf handed Frodo a small gold ring with words on the edge.

"What's this Gandalf" asked Frodo. 

"This young Froko, is the one ring, I am giving you this ring because I don't want to go to Mordor blah blah looks better if the brave ones are small yada yada yak" 

"Well then I'm off" Frodo packed his all his bags, picked up a walking stick (otherwise known as Samwise Gamgee) put on a green cloak and hugged Gandalf. 

"My dear Fripo, hobbits really are amazing creatures blah blah blah you can learn every thing there is to know about their habits in a month yet after a hundred years they yada yada yada" 

(Frodo to Sam hiding under the window) _I have often dreamed of a far-off place _

Where a hobbitses welcome would be waiting for me 

Where the elves will cheer when they see my face 

And where you keep saying, this is where I'm meant to be 

I'll be there someday, 

I can go to Mordor 

I know ev'ry mile you'll carry me a while 

When I go to Mordor, I'll be right where I belong 

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate 

Though that road may wander I will drag you through. 

And a thousand years would be worth the wait. 

It might take a lifetime, but somehow your going too 

And I won't look back 

I can go to Mordor 

And we'll stay on track 

No we wont accept defeat 

It's an uphill slope, but I wont lose hope 

Till I get to mordor and my journey is finite 

Oh, yeah 

But to look beyond the gory is the hardest part 

For a hobbitses strength is measured by his feet 

Like a shooting star, I will go to Mordor 

We can search the world 

You will face its harms 

I don't care how far 

I can go to Mordor 

Till I find my hobbitses welcome waiting in your arms.

We can search the world 

You will face its harms 

Till I find my hobbitses welcome waiting in your arms. 


	4. Bare Necessities

Disclaimer: Yes! Yes! I am Tolkein reincarnate! [Sorry. Sedative has now been administered. Am now calm, and normal, and under no illusions about my ownership of LotR]

Well, we're not gonna be reinvited to the next showing of: Bear Necessities

By: Once again, Disney

Chapter 4:

Gandalf looked blankly at Frodo (and a now wide grinned gardener) and put his hand in Frodo's face "Talk to the hand, coz the face don't understand". With that Frodo was thrown out the door given some directions. Gandalf turned away and walked the opposite way. 

"Aren't you coming with us Gandalf" 

"No young Gamgee I'm off to fall into an obvious trap blah blah blah add to the drama of the story yada yada yada" He then turned to the camera and winked. 

I suppose we better pack thought Frodo. Luckily Sam had been way ahead but unlucky for Frodo Sam did not have much of an idea of what he should have packed. Once they had reached the edge of hobbiton and Frodo had enlisted Peregrin Took to help him move hole (his clever disguise) he decided to check Sams pack. 

"My god Sam, what have you done" 

"Just the bare necessities" explained Sam 

"You call this the bare necessities" Sam pulled out the toilet paper and reading material that Sam had bought. 

(Frodo to Sam and Pippin_) Look for the bare necessities, _

The simple bare necessities, 

Forget about your saucepans and your pie 

I mean the bare necessities, or Bombadilos recipes 

That brings the bare necessities of life 

Wherever I wander, wherever I roam, 

I couldn't be fonder of my big hole 

The Elves are lookin' in their shelves 

To find some lembas just for me. 

You look under the swords and bows 

And take a glance at the fancy axe 

Then maybe try a few 

The bare necessities of life will come to you, 

They'll come to you

Look for the bare necessities 

The simple bare necessities, 

Forget about your saucepans and your pie 

I mean the bare necessities, that's why the wizards rest at ease 

With just the bare necessities of life 

When you cook with raw raw, 

Or a prickly pear 

And you kick a Balrog next time beware 

Don't kick the tricky old Orc in the paw 

When you kick in an Orc try to hit the jaw 

But you don't need to kick the Orc 

When you a pack a sword of the glow glow sort 

I have I given you a clue 

The bare necessities of life will come to you, 

(Sam) They'll come to you 

Look for the bare necessities, 

The simple bare necessities, 

Forget about your saucepans and your pie 

I mean the bare necessities, or Bombadilos recipes 

That bring the bare necessities of life 

So just try to relax, (Oh yeah) in his back yard 

If you act like that Orc acts 

You're workin' too hard 

Don't spend your time lookin' around 

For something you want that can't be found 

When you found out you can live without it 

And go along not thinking about it 

I'll tell you something true. 

The bare necessities of life will come to you 

They'll come to you. 


	5. O' Elbereth Gilthoniel

Disclaimer: Hana and I are working on a plan to kidnap and clone Orlando Bloom, so we can sell him in packs of 7 (one for each day of the week. Each set comes with free flea collar and lead, and all our products are fully machine washable for when they get smelly…). Until then however, no nice profits for me.

I really wish I had some singing ability so I could join in with: Hakuna Matata

From: The Lion King

By: Oh! Wait! I actually know this one! [screws up face in concentration] It was…Tim Rice.

Chapter 5:

Frodo then sent Sam off to get some supplies. When he came back a rider dressed in black stood before the three hobbits. 

"Good day there sir" Frodo called out. 

"Frodo I don't think this man is too friendly if you know what I mean," Pippin suggested. 

"Oh, Pippin when will you learn to look beyond stereotypes, just because he and his horse are completely black and he carries a large Morgul blade and he is running towards us with that blade shouting 'kill, kill!!' does not mean he is bad" With that Sam who had more cunning then a fox decided to push Frodo and Pippin into a very convenient ditch. 

"Can't you see his mad" said Sam. 

"No wonder he's mad, you've gone an' made him suspicious now, I'm sorry about my friend" Frodo called out again "he's a Gamgee I'm sure you understand" 

Luckily before the Nazgul had the chance to slit all their throats some elves came by and scared the ringwraith away by shouting terrifying words such as 'Elendil' and 'Elbereth'. 

(Elves) _O Elbereth! Gilthoniel…what a wonderful phrase _

O Elbereth! Gilthoniel…ain't no passing craze 

It means no goblins for the rest of your days 

It's our problem free genealogy 

O Elbereth! Gilthoniel 

(Gildor) _Why when he was a young Elf lord _

(Elf lord) _Why when I was a young elf lord_

(Gildor) _Very nice_

(Elf lord) _Thanks _

(Gildor) _He found his armour lacked a certain appeal _

It could clear the table after ev'ry meal 

(Elf lord) _I'm a sensitive elf though I seemed thick skinned _

And it hurt that my peeps couldn't stand up wind 

And oh, the shame 

(Gildor) _He was ashamed_

(Elf lord) _Thought of changing my name_

(Gildor) _Oh what's in a name?_

(Elf lord) _And I got downhearted… _

(Gildor) _How did you feel? _

(Elf lord) _…ev'ry time that I…_

(Gildor) _Hey m'lord not in front of the hobbits _

(Elf lord) _Oh sorry_

(Elves) _O Elbereth! Gilthoniel…what a wonderful phrase _

O Elbereth! Gilthoniel…ain't no passing craze 

(Frodo, Sam and Pippin) _It means no goblins for the rest of your days_

(Gildor) _Yeah sing it halflin'_

(Elves) _It's our problem free _

(Elf lord) _Genealogy _

(Elves) _O Elbereth! Gilthoniel_

(All) _O Elbereth! Gilthoniel, O Elbereth! Gilthoniel _

O Elbereth! Gilthoniel, O Elbereth! Gilthoniel


	6. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Disclaimer: You know, it's really boring having to write these all the time. I realise that I could just come out and admit that this does not belong to me, but it doesn't really appeal to my literary sense. So instead, I have to waffle on about nothing very much. I mean, everybody here already _knows_ that I'm not Tolkein, don't they?

Up for the chop today's episode is: Row row row your boat

By: God, who knows? I certainly don't.

Chapter 6:

Anyway the hobbits had tea with the elves and then left the next day on their journey to Buckland. Now that they had been warned by the elves of the Nazgul, Frodo finally believed that he could travel no longer by the road. So instead they took the scenic routet. By doing this they ended up in old Farmer Maggot's mushroom farm. 

"Look Frodo, mushrooms!" Sam shouted, "They'd taste great with my famous cabbage soup."

Concealed in Sam's bags were the saucepans that Frodo had thrown out previously. 

"Don't eat them, Sam, I still have the scars that Farmer Maggot's rabbits gave me when I last tried to steal his mushrooms 

"Ay, that you have lad" said Farmer Maggot who was standing behind them holding freshly picked carrots and cabbages. Next to him were two growling bunnies and also Merriadoc Brandybuck (Otherwise know as Merry, the extension of Pippin who was added to this story to give a nice round number of Hobbits and also to keep Pippin company when Sam and Frodo buggered off). 

"Well lucky for you m' lad ya ain't taken any o' m' mushrooms so I won' 'arm ya" 

"Excuse me" 

"'E says ya ain't taken no tut mushrooms Frodo s' ya is ok f' na' 

"Well why didn't he just say that" asked Sam "Honestly these Bucklanders are queer Frodo look how they speak good thing we got Merry here to translate, no decent sense to speak normal like" 

"Shut up Sam, you are here to carry me not talk. Mr. Maggot, can you tell us the quickest route to Bree?" 

"Ay lad ya needs t' take Brandywine bridge 'tis just dun there thens ya 'as to got tru the ol' forest ands then yu' is gonna get tut bree in nought time at all. 

"Merry?" asked Sam 

"Brandy wine ferry" 

So the four of them set off and quickly found a conveniently placed boat just in time before the Nine caught up with them. As usual the ring bearer, and therefore important hobbit, is the last to make it onto the ferry. 

(Hobbits) _Row, row row your boat _

Gently down the Brandywine 

Merrily merrily merrily merrily 

Life is just a dream 


	7. Part Of That Shire

Disclaimer: I own a stuffed cow with a bell round its neck. And that's about it.

Today's song theft loot includes: Part of Your World

From: The Little Mermaid

By: Whoever writes the songs for Disney

Also, Phil has included Tom Bombadil's song, as the token piece of authenticity in all this. I don't know the title. But hey, last chapter was rather short, so you get 2 songs to make up for it this time. Can I/he please have some reviews? Pretty please?

Chapter 7:

Once across the river the hobbits passed through the old forest and in true Tolkien style they are attacked by, yes, you've guessed it, trees! 

"'Elp m' Mr. Frodo" cried Merry from inside a tree where he had somehow managed to get inside. Just at that moment Mr. Tom Bombadil aka.Iarwain Ben-adar came along just in time to rescue them (has anyone noticed the convenient theme in this story) and, just like the elves sang a song to scare away the enemy. 

(Bombadil) _Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow,   
Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.   
None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master:   
His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster._

And for some reason this scared off the trees. They ran and shouted and screamed and shreaked like school girls. Meanwhile, at the house of Tom Bombadil, the hobbits ate. They still liked eating and hadn't for a while so they made up for it. And there Bombadil was sad and after hours of asking him why he was depressed he revealed that he was confined in the old forest. 

"You see Hobbits I want to leave" 

"Why, you are much safer here" 

"Well you see Frodo I wish I was like you" 

(Bombadil) _Look at my home.   
Isn't it neat   
Wouldn't you think my thatched roof is complete?   
Wouldn't you think I'm the guy, the guy who's got ev'rythin'.   
Look at this room, treasures untold.   
How many wonders can one idiot hold?   
Lookin' around you'd think sure he owns ev'rythin'.   
I've got music and song books a plenty   
I sing poems and ballads galore.   
You want Goldberry's? I've got twenty   
But who cares.   
No big deal. I want more. _

I wanna be were the hobbits are.   
I wanna see, wanna see 'em prancin',   
Walkin' around on those, whatdya call 'em oh huge hairy feet   
Ridin' on ponies I don't get too far.   
Gandalf's required to get thru' Moria   
Runnin' away from the, what's that word again, trolls   
Up where they run, up where they fight, up where they die all day in the sun.  
Wanderin' free, wish I could be part of that Shire.  


What would I give if I could live outside this forest?   
What would I pay for just one day ridin' with Sam   
Betcha in Mordor, they want to plunder   
Bet I could help those fearless soldiers   
Bright young woman, sick of singin' ready to talk.   
I'm ready to know what the hobbits know   
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers   
Whats a Balrog and why does it, what's the word, reek?  
When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, love to explore that world up above, 

Out of this swamp   
Wish I could be part of the Shire.


	8. Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

Disclaimer: I do not own this. I wish I did. At some point I'll be building a time machine, so I can zap back and steal the idea before Tolkein writes the book, but no time right now. Ah well…

Altered beyond recognition is: Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

From: My Fair Lady (I'm told. I've never seen it myself).

Another short chapter, I know. Even shorter if, like me, you're forced to skip the song because you have no idea what it is. [sighs]But that's a cross some of us have to bear.

Chapter 8:

With that the Hobbits decided that Bombadil was mentally unstable and decided to leave. They ran away from him until they got lost in the fog (yes that's right a FOG). There again he rescued them by singing a song (It is a scientific fact that songs clear fog). Soon after that they reached Bree they were stopped by a guard at the gate. 

"Who goes there" 

"Hobbitses" 

"What is your destination" The hobbits conferred among themselves before they realized that they had absolutely no reason to be in Bree. Sudenly Sam and Frodo began to argue, just then Merry stepped forward. 

(Merry) _All I want is a pub somewhere, _

Far away from the cold night air. 

With one enormous beer, 

Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? 

Lots of choc'lates for me to eat, 

Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat. 

Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet, 

Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? 

Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still. 

I would never budge 'till spring 

Crept over me windowsill. 

Someone's pint restin' on my knee, 

Warm an' tender as it can be. 

It takes good care of me, 

Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? 

Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly


	9. Getting To Trust Me

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing I tell you! And nobody, not nobody's gonna make me change my story…

Nicked: Getting To Know You

From: The King And I

To make up for the previous very short chapter, here's an insanely long one. This is another song I don't know. I should point out that the Strider bashing is all on behalf of Katy (otherwise known as polkat), who adores him and gets very defensive at the mere suggestion of him wearing a wig. Katy- this one's in your honour.

Chapter 9:

"You'll be wanting the Prancing Pony then, stupid name, good beer". Then they were all shown directly to the Pony. There they drank the finest and only ale in Bree. In the Pony Frodo noticed a man with beady eyes watching him from across the room he was clearly wearing a wig and so Frodo thought he was in disguise. Just then he noticed that Pippin and Merry were talking about him and mentioning his real name. 

'Oh no' he thought 'what if the wig man hears'. 

So to distract them he decided to jump off of a table in the middle of the room and put on the ring and disappear. This meant that instead of stopping the wig man from finding out his name, he managed to make everyone _else_ think he was 'odd' and to top it off he also managed to tell the Nazgul his exact location. All in all not his best decision. Not that he managed to do much better later on. Frodo then sat back down and ordered another ale. Hiding did not occur to him- you see that will be someone else's idea. 

"Excuse me sir, who is that man in the corner?"

"Which one?"

"The one with the beady eyes and the wig."

"Oh you mean Strider, why they call him that no one is sure, some say he likes to stride others say that his parents were cruel, who is right no one will ever no, I guess its just one of lifes great mysteries."

Without warning Strider grabbed Frodo, I guess he noticed Frodo pointing and waving at him. He then pulled him into a nearby room.

"Are you frightened Mr. Baggins?" 

"Yes."

"Oh, shite what's my line?"

"CUT!" 

"Are you frightened Mr. Baggins?" 

"Yes." 

"Not nearly frightened enough." 

Just then Sam ran into the room shortly followed by Merry and Pippin as he opened the door he managed to knock Frodo behind the door and squash him up against the wall. 

"We've lost him Merry, and I made a pwomise I said to myself 'don't you lose him Samwise Gamgee'. " 

"Don't worry he's here." Strider picked up the crumpled body behind the door. br

"Fine," said Pippin "but who are you and how can we trust you, and why have you squashed Frodo?" 

"That was you." complained Srider he then straightened his wig as he noticed it was slightly off centre. "Probably should give the old thing a wash," he muttered. 

"You haven't answered our question." 

"Well…" Strider remembered an old song he had once heard. 

(Strider spoken) It's a very ancient saying,   
But a true and honest thought,   
That if you become a ranger,   
By your rangees you'll be taught.   


(Strider singing) _As a ranger I've been ranging _

You'll forgive me if I boast   
And I've now become an expert,   
On the subject I like most.   
  
(Strider spoken) Getting to trust me.   
  
(Strider singing) _Getting to trust me,   
Getting to trust all about me.   
Getting to come with you, _

Hoping you'll let me come too.   
  
Getting to trust me,   
Going on my way,   
But nicely,   
You are precisely,   
My cup of tea.   
  
(The hobbits) _Getting to trust you,   
Getting to trust all about you.   
Letting you join us, _

Hoping that you'll come too.   


Getting to trust you,   
Going your way,   
But nicely,   
(Strider) _You are precisely,   
My cup of tea.   
  
_(Hobbits) _Getting to trust you,   
Getting to kill free and easy   
When I am with you,   
Getting to know what to say   
  
Haven't you noticed   
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy?   
Because of all the beautiful and new   
Things I'm learning about you   
Day by day._   
  
(Strider) _Getting to trust me,   
Getting to fight free and easy   
When I am with you,   
Getting to know what to say   
  
Haven't you noticed   
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy?   
Because of all the beautiful and new   
Things I'm killing around you   
Day .. by ... day. _


End file.
